Author Archives: Corey Burkhead

sex

Something I Have To Talk About

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SEX! SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX!!!!!!!

I thought if I said it more it’d be less weird but it’s not.

I remember when I was about 12ish my parents talked to me about sex. It was INSANELY weird. 1) Because my mom did most of the talking and 2) because a lot of what they were telling me I had already found out from school. That’s not to say that the talk was a total waste. In fact, a lot of what my parents told me set things straight. I heard this and that from various students and then of course there was health class but I never had a clear understanding about it.

Looking back, as awkward as it was I wish my parents had talked to me sooner about it. The reason being that it was already something that was being talked about in school by students a year or two before. The thing is though that my parents didn’t know. They didn’t know how long that had already been a subject of curiosity in my life. And when I say curiosity I don’t mean that I was experimenting or anything like that. But the fact of the matter is that I was hearing words thrown around that I didn’t understand the meaning of.

Another scary thing for me were students who said they were homosexual. That freaked me out like no other. I mean here was this dude who was like the manliest guy I had ever seen and he’s telling me he’s attracted to other men!?

The point I’m trying to make is that I’m 23 years old and it wasn’t that long ago that I was in high school. I think that’s one of the benefits for me in being a youth pastor. I know what’s talked about. I remember the confusion. Lucky for me though I knew I had parents I could go to and talk about this stuff with. Yeah it was awkward for me and probably just as awkward for them but I knew I could go to them.

There’ll come a day when I have to talk to my kids about sex. I’m not going to WANT to but I know I want to. Make sense? I don’t want the first seed on sex to be planted in my kids head by anyone else but me. The big question for me though is at what age do I do that? I was in sixth grade when sex began to be talked about by other students. That was about 13 years ago. At what age will it be talked about by students when my kids are in school?

Something I’ve been telling my students lately and what I want to tell you is that we live in a sex-saturated society. Sex is everywhere. If a kids parent doesn’t want to talk to them about sex then the kid can just go look online. Problem is that they’ll just become even more confused.

Parents MUST talk to their kids and be willing to answer the tough questions. That doesn’t mean the parent has to have all the answers. If you’re a parent and you don’t know the answer tell your kid you’ll get back to them. Your goal should be to guide them in a direction so that when temptation rises in their heads or questions about their sexuality come about they can either make the right choice or come to you.

The bottom line is this: Someone is going to talk to your kids about sex. Who’s it going to be?

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Day 2: Guatemala

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Before coming down I was very worried as to if the kids would be receptive to Jason and I. For whatever reason, I had this picture in my mind that I’d be around kids with a camera and would receive dirty looks with thoughts somewhere in the area of, “Who’s this guy? Why is he taking my picture? Get out of here.”

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

This morning when I went to the cafeteria to get breakfast one of the first things this little girl did was come walking up to me with a smile on her face and just gave me the biggest hug. It wasn’t just her though. One after another kids were wanting to cling to me. They wanted to know my name. They wanted to speak to me even though I know very little spanish.

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After breakfast, I decided to go shoot some footage of the area and as I did I came across one of the areas the young boys stay at. They all came out curiously while waving at me and shouting, “Hola!”

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I sat down next to them and pulled out my iPhone. Now, I want you to think back to the most exciting moment in your life, times that by a thousand, and just maybe you’ll experience the excitement these kids had. I began to show them pictures of my wife, my dog, a couple of my youth students. I showed them some funny apps such as Fatbooth and Baldbooth which blew their minds away.

Playing soccer with them was also fun for them. These kids weren’t good. They were amazing. One after another they were showing off their skills and tricks they could do with the ball. Jason could keep up somewhat. Me, not so much.

Today though, aside from shooting video and editing, was a day I really wanted to get to spend time with the kids and I got to do that. Each one is unique in their own little way. I’ve gotten to hear about some of their backgrounds and it just makes me so grateful for the home I was raised in and how much God has blessed me.

Day 3 will be exciting because we will be heading to Honduras but it’ll be hard saying goodbye to these kids. Not because I’ve bonded with them like insanely or anything but because being around these kids makes you want to stay. To them you are their hero and when you see the excitement in their eyes as you walk into the room your heart aches at the thought of saying goodbye.

2 Things I Learned In Guatemala On Day 1

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1) “We’re not in Kansas anymore”

When traveling from the airport to the orphanage my eyes were opened. The way people interact, work, and move about is so different than what I’m used to seeing. It’s 7:38pm right now and kids are still in school. People are driving around on buses that are worn down and beaten up. 10 year old kids are lifting bricks and doing manual labor. Young girls are cooking and cleaning for their families. The culture is so different and nothing at all what I’m used to.

2) I serve a pastor who has a passion for helping others.

This is actually something I knew already but got to see it in action like never before. We sat down in one of the offices here at the orphanage and I watched my pastor, Jason Isaacs, as he listened to what was being needed here. One of the things that is needed is $5,000 to help fix a van that is driving 45 kids to school. Immediately leaving the office I asked my pastor what he thought and he looked at me and said, “We’re getting that $5,000 today.” There was determination in his eyes. No joke. No cocky attitude. Just a determination to help out with something that he believes we at River City can do so that the leaders here can sleep better here at night.

Day 1 was a long but awesome day. I’ll do what I can to keep posting what all is going on here as the week goes on.

What I Never Want To Hear My Kid Say

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I don’t have kids yet but that doesn’t stop me from being excited about it happening someday. However, there are times when I think about it and it scares me.

One of the things that scares me is the day that my kids can’t talk to me or feel as if they have to hide things from me. To be specific, I want to always know where my kids are going. It wasn’t long ago that I graduated from high school and I remember hearing other students talk about how they told their parents they were going here one night when in actuality they were going to a boy or girls house who’s parents weren’t there.

I’ve witnessed first hand a parent ask there daughter once, “where are you going?”, and all the girl said was “out”. If I ever ask my kid that and their response is simply “out” then I’m stopping them right there cause that’s a huge red flag.

1) “Out” isn’t an answer it’s a cover
2) “Out” I know is translation for “somewhere that I don’t want you knowing about because I don’t want you asking me further questions that I don’t want to have to answer”

Maybe you’re a parent and this sounds like the response you find your kid giving you. I’m not trying to worry you but if this is the case then if I were you I’d be wanting some further details.

Kids are smart. They know how to lie. They know how to cover their tracks. Once a kid realizes they can lie to their parent and get away with it then they’ll just keep doing it. I pray that day never comes for my kids.

Something To Think About The Next Time You Pray

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Recently I’ve been doing a lot of studying on prayer. One reason is because at LiveLoud we are doing a series on prayer and another is because I’m about to do a 21 day fast and I’m going to be needing to pray a lot.

Today though God spoke to me. It didn’t have anything really to do with what I was reading. It just came out of no where. But last night at LiveLoud one of the things I talked about was that our prayers matter to God. Many people fear that what they want to pray about won’t matter to God so there’s no point in praying. That’s not true. When you pray you have God’s full attention and what you have to say matters to Him. No matter how big or little you might think it is, if its important enough to you that you bring it to God in prayer then it’s important to Him.

This morning though a question came to me. One that kinda made me stop and think. Everything that matters to me matters to God, but does everything that matter to God matter to me?

Take a second and think about that now. God loves us, He’s always there for us, He sent his only son to die for us, and He is always listening to our prayers. Why? Because we matter to Him.

So let me ask you this. Let me flip the script. Do you love God? Would you sacrifice anything for Him? Does everything that His word tells us matter to you?

I would bet that there are times when God is speaking to us but we ignore it. That there are times when God is challenging us to do something and because we don’t see the reward in it we don’t care about it. Let’s be honest, most of the things we pray for are meant to benefit us or something we care about. But if God were to communicate to you right now and ask you to do something that would glorify Him and only Him, would you do it? Would it matter to you?

The next time you pray I want to challenge you to 1) let God know about everything that matters to you and then 2) ask God what you can do that matters to Him.

What parents don’t want their kids finding out…

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Meredith and I have been married a little over three months now and I can’t tell you how many times people have asked us, “When are you all going to have kids?”

The answer to that question is, “We don’t know.” Right now we are just happy being married and enjoying where we are. We both want kids at some point but that’s not for a few more years. However, it doesn’t stop me from thinking about what kind of parent I want to be or my fears even in being a parent.

For a while there, I had this mentality that when I’m a parent I want to have this perfect image for them to look at and admire. I don’t want them to see any of my flaws, I don’t want them seeing Meredith and I fight, I don’t want them seeing any of the dirt. But the problem with this way of parenting is that it teaches your kids nothing.

Here’s the thing, you have faults and your kids know it. I remember when I found out my parents weren’t perfect and chances are you do too. Once your kids know you have faults they have ammunition. This is where a lot of parents become scared and want to quickly hide their flaws from their kids. Here’s a little advice- DON’T!

You may feel like you’re a bad parent because of the things your kids know about you but don’t allow yourself to go down that path. Kids can be loving and compassionate but at the same time they can be just as rude and insensitive because of the simple fact that they’re immature. When your kids know of your flaws and points them out it’s important to keep loving them. Correct and discipline them. But most importantly, let them know the truth: You are a sinful and fallen parent with many, many faults.

“Why on earth would I do this?”

Because this is where you get to be the example of a follower in Christ by asking for forgiveness. Letting you’re kids know that you’re a sinner is okay as long as you are showing them how a sinner asks for forgiveness. When you do this, your kids won’t look at you as a sinner or a fake, but as an example.